Blood Moon (Seth Clearwater love story)
by Ty560
Summary: Maya Castillo has one chance at happiness, and he's a giant sandy brown wolf...
1. 1

**_Hey there! Thanks for stopping by! So, this is my first time writing on this site, I do write a lot on quotev though. So, first story *uproar of applause* Oh, thank you, love muffins, you're too kind._** ** _So, each chapter will have a song quote at the beginning and, in some cases, the entire song will be the muse for that chapter. Kind of a reference point. In those cases, at the end of each chapter, I will say the entire song was the muse, then, if you want, you could listen to the song and kinda get a better idea of the feelings behind the chapter in a lyrical sense, which I do when writing it. Anyways, enough babbling. Read on!_**

 _"I'm all over the place, I can't sit in one place, I'm not ashamed at all…" - Jungle by H.E.R._

"Ms. Castillo, glad you could finally join us," my teacher said pointedly with a look of disdain on his face. I smiled briefly, rolling my eyes as I made my way to my desk. There was literally a week left before finals. Did teachers honestly still expect us to come to school on time? Granted, I walked in with like 5 minutes left for class, and this was 3rd period, but still.

"Sorry. I had a bit of trouble getting here. Personal reasons."

"Very well. But we're covering for finals. If you want to get that last recap of information, I would advise you to try to be here on time tomorrow." I saluted lazily, sitting down at my desk.

"Yes, sir. Will do." He nodded once, then continued on with his lesson. I'm not really sure why he didn't just choose to give us a study hall instead. We were in our junior year, entering our senior. The only thing we were worried about is getting this over with and surviving finals without falling into a pit of depression and off the face of the earth. We had spent 3 years listening to the teachers drone on and on about things most of us never cared about and would probably never use, I think a week before school ends is the time to give it a rest.

My best friend Camille glanced over at me, an eyebrow raised, asking why I was so late. I waved my hand absently with an eye roll, never planning on explaining what happened. I hated having to come up with stories. That's what my sister and I used to do when we were younger. But since then I've just tried to avoid the questions as a whole.

"So care to explain why you missed first and basically second period?" she asked, pulling her dark hair into a knot atop her head, her eyes narrowed with one thick, perfectly arched eyebrow raised.

"Uh, you know. Personal stuff."

"Personal stuff? Like what? You've never been late before. Is something wrong?"

"I just overslept, ya know." Her eyebrows knitted together, a confused look on her face. _Please stop asking questions._ I had to get rid of her. "I'll explain later. I gotta go." I rushed ahead, practically sprinting, leaving her dumbfounded. I didn't have any more classes with her, so I was safe until lunch. I could find a place to duck out until it was over. I wouldn't have to see her until after school. Hopefully by then she'd have forgotten everything. I doubted she would though. Four hours just didn't seem like enough time for Camille. Anyone else, sure, but not her.

But four hours of bliss with no questions and no awkward glances is exactly what I needed. Now only to get through lunch. I packed up my stuff and patiently made my way through the crowd of people. My phone rang and I pulled it from my pocket, expecting it to be Camille wondering where I am. I answered without looking.

"Hello?"

"Where are you?" I froze, eyes wide and staring straight ahead. I forgot to breathe, and I knew it, but couldn't get my brain to work. "Maya," he pressed, his tone hard, like he was straining himself from losing control.

"I-I'm at school."

"I told you not to leave."

"Dad-"

"Come. Home. Now." I shivered, fear rising and swelling into my chest. Or was it my lungs straining because I wasn't breathing?

"I can't. I-I can't...I can't just leave scho-" The line clicked and I released the breath. _Oh god_. I looked around me, seeing if anyone even paid attention to me, then continued walking, changing course from the cafeteria to the back of the school, plopping down on the cement, still damp from the rain we'd had this morning. It didn't matter though. I pulled my knees to my chest and rested my chin on top, letting my sandy brown curls fall down and pulling my hood over my head before wrapping my arms around my legs. There was no point in holding it in anymore. Just as the thought crossed my mind, the tears fell, as if they had been waiting for permission. They were hot against my skin, seeming to burn permanently in their path.

I heard the back door creak open loudly and heavy footsteps follow.

"Oh crap, sorry, I didn't know anyone else was back here." I shrugged and sniffed a little. "Hey, are you okay?" I didn't respond, wiping my face along the sleeve of my hoodie. I heard him walk closer then sit down beside me. There was an immense amount of heat radiating from him. It was weird but it felt good, being I was probably seconds away from hypothermia. It was kinda comforting. "I come out here to think sometimes. Get away from everyone else. Find a bit of peace in the day." I could feel him turn to me, but didn't look up or let him see my face, even though he probably already knew I was crying. "What about you?"

"I needed to be alone."

"Do you want me to leave you alone then?" It was an odd question being he's a complete stranger, but I found myself shaking my head. Something about the warmth and his presence made me feel better. Safer. "Okay. Do you wanna talk about it?" I shook my head again. "Alright." It felt good to have the company, even though we were completely silent. Camille was cool and fun to have around, but she asked too many questions and she never let go until she got an answer she thought made sense. But this guy, he didn't even introduce himself. He simply sat and just…existed. Which was exactly what I needed. At least for now. "I'm Seth, by the way." I saw a huge tanned hand move into my peripheral view and extended my own, allowing his to engulf mine. They were odd, different than I would have expected. Gentle and kinda rough, but soft to the touch at the same time.

"Maya." He shook it lightly and I sighed in content. "Why did you stay?"

"You looked like you could use some silent company. So… why not? I planned on sitting back here anyways."

"But in complete silence?" I saw him shrug.

"Words aren't always necessary. It's nice to sit in silence every once in a while. Gives you the opportunity to really think. Open up to yourself in ways you never thought possible." I pursed my lips and nodded. "Or at least that's what my mom says. I just like it. Kinda just think about pizza and tacos majority of the time." I smiled a little, but he probably couldn't see it. Something in me told me he knew it was there, though. "What about you? What do you think about?"

"Nothing. For once, I let my mind draw blank. Give myself a chance to relax and be free of morals and humanity and what's right and wrong. I just sit and just... _be_." He was quiet for a while and thought he would disagree or think I'm insane. Girl sitting in the back of the school crying alone and not even thinking, but then he kinda laughed.

"Your idea is way better. Makes mine sound dumb." I just shrugged.

"There's no such thing. You look for simpler thoughts. I look for none. It's all the same. An escape either way."

"Well, hey, take my number and anytime you want to talk about those endless thoughts, you can. As I said, I don't think too much. I try not to dwell on anything." His hand reached over again, this time a cellphone was held in it. I took it and input my number and contact and gave him my phone to do the same, finding it very easy to do. Something about him just made me feel safer. He didn't even know me; didn't even know what I looked like, yet he still was being so nice. It was an interesting change of pace.

Everything seemed to move slower and too fast at the same time, the time seeming to have frozen, but still was gone too quickly and I just wanted to stay here forever in this moment, never worrying about anything again. I stood and pulled my hood from my head just as the bell rung and glanced down at him. Seth Clearwater. Now I remembered. I had seen him around a few times. And we had classes together in 9th grade. But he looked a lot different now. Puberty hit him hard, and in a good way. He was tall, I could tell that simply by how long his limbs were, legs almost touching the ground from where they dangled. His hair was longer, hanging down to his shoulders, and he had muscles that I don't think any junior should have. He seemed older. But there was still this childlike aura about him. It was nice.

He looked up at me and his dark eyes were wide, his form frozen. I turned away quickly, thinking it was because of my eyes. _He thinks you're weird now._ But no. There was something in the look. I turned back to him briefly as I headed for the door and the look had changed. I couldn't place it. Well, I could, but it didn't make much sense. It was almost like adoration. But that didn't make sense. Then everything was moving too fast for me to comprehend. I know the door had swung open, the familiar creak louder, and it should have hit me. But I never felt the impact. All I felt was warm.

I came back to reality, eyes shut probably as an instinct, then I realized I was being held in an iron grip. I opened my eyes and looked down at the arm securely wrapped around me then up at Seth, who was obviously the owner of the arm. He was staring down at me, lips parted slightly, then the corners turned up into a smile. There was that look still in his eyes, but they seemed kinda here but not here. Like he was dazed.

"Uh… hey, should I come back later or…" I snapped out of it and looked in front of me, seeing Camille standing there waiting, a smirk on her face but a confused look in her eyes. _How did she find me?_ I tried to walk but couldn't, then remembered Seth's arm, then looked back up at him, his eyes still trained on me.

"You can let me go now." His eyebrows knitted together and he looked at his arm as if just noticing it was around me, then let go. I felt empty and cold as soon as it was gone. Pushing the thought out of my head, I hurried past Camille into the school and to my last class, ignoring her calling after me. I'd never hear the end of this. But maybe she'd think that was why I was late this morning and leave that alone.

I was floating through last period on cruise control. I was there, but not there. I couldn't stop thinking about the way he'd looked at me, like nothing else mattered. And I'm positive I wasn't so out of it that my brain had been moving in slow motion. He had moved to me almost instantly. Not to mention how safe I'd felt being there with him, even though he did nothing until the door incident. I smiled a little and looked up in shock as the bell rung overhead. That was fast.

"Maya Castillo, you have some explaining to do." I rolled my eyes as Camille walked into my classroom. Had she seriously been waiting outside the door for the bell to ring? _We're talking about Camille, here_. Right. That's exactly what she did. I don't have time for this. Normally I'd welcome the escape from home, but with the way my dad was this morning and earlier, I needed to get home as soon as possible, preferably before he did.

"Cami, I can't do this right now. I'll talk to you later, okay." I hurried out the room and to my locker, seeing Seth already waiting there. Wha… I approached quickly, wanting to hear what he had to say but also needing to get home ASAP. He turned to me, as if he'd felt my eyes on him, then smiled, his teeth as white as his clean white tee shirt. Is he happy to see me? _Don't be stupid. He doesn't even know you._ Right. But that look…

"Hey," he said as I reached my locker.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, sounding a lot harsher than I intended to. He didn't seem bothered in the least, smile still planted on his face.

"I want to show you something." I raised an eyebrow, packing my things into my back from my locker.

"You do realize you're a complete stranger, right?" He frowned a little, then smiled again.

"I know, but I'm hoping to change that." I furrowed my eyebrows, then relaxed. _You have to get home._ I know. But he just looked so hopeful...and happy. "It's nothing weird, I promise. Although I realize now how awkward and very creepy it is that I'm...here." I just stared up at him, hesitant. Then I nodded.

"Okay."

"Seriously?" he said, almost yelling and causing people to turn and look in question. I dropped my curls over my face as they did, keeping my head down as I closed my locker and sped out of the school, pulling my hood over my head. I was practically running but he kept up with me easily, long legs stretching out in front of him and keeping pace with my quick little steps. "Sorry. I got a bit excited there. I'll drive."

"Why?" I asked, glancing up at him.

"I mean, you're welcome to drive. I guess it doesn't matter who does."

"No, why did you get excited?"

"Oh." He shrugged, a small smile on his face. "I dunno." He looked down at me pointedly. "I just did I guess." He pointed, looking up briefly then his eyes met mine again. "This is me." I looked at the shiny black motorcycle in front of me and froze. I'd never ridden on one before, but I always have been interested. I smiled a little and I swear his face lit up more - which I didn't even know was possible - as soon as he saw my reaction. "Do you like it?"

"This is the coolest thing I've ever seen." He picked up one of the helmets and handed it to me.

"Safety first." I put it on quickly and watched as he climbed on, then slid on slowly myself, wrapping my arms securely around his waist. Is it normal for people to physically be this hot? Like, body temperature. Well, he is hot as far as look go, too. _And is going to get you in loads of trouble if you do this_. I imagined my dad's face and blinked it away as soon as it appeared. "You okay? Holding on a bit tight there." I hadn't even noticed my arms had tightened. I let go quickly, eyes wide. "I mean, not that I mind. But if you're scared, we can drive a car. Or you could ride up front." I shook my head. He sat there, as if waiting. "Maya?" My dad is going to kill me. "Maya?" But the way he says my name...And those pretty brown eyes and perfect lips, moving… I snapped out of my daze, focusing again. He'd gotten up and now crouched down beside me, a worried look on his face. "Are you sure about this? I could just take you h-"

"NO!" His eyes widened and I shook my head, opening my mouth and trying to force the words out. "No. I'm fine."

"You sure? You look scared." I nodded, looking away. "If you're scared, it's cool. I don't want you to feel like you have to or anything."

"I'm fine." He hesitated and I gave him a look, trying to reassure him. "Positive." He stood, taking the heat away momentarily before climbing back in front of me. He started up the bike, kicking the stand back, then glanced back expectantly. I wrapped my arms around his waist again, not too tight this time, and he took off, speeding through the parking lot just in time. I saw the all too familiar old black Ford pickup pulling up to the school and turned my head, quickly tucking my curls into my jacket. I doubt he saw me, but you could never be too sure. We drove for a while, it was almost too fast for me to really take in the scenery, but it was still the coolest thing I've ever experienced. I couldn't stop myself from beaming. This is amazing. _I hope it's worth it_. "How did you find this?" He smiled and looked out too, shrugging.

"I was just out patrolling...walking through and came across it. It's my favorite place to come and think and get away from everything. Better than the back of the school with the faint smell of rancid fruit and garbage juice from the dumpsters." I laughed, nodding in agreement. "I figured you'd like it. To come here and not think. It's kinda perfect for that, don't you think?" I didn't respond. Why was he worried about finding a place for me not to think? _You'll never be able to come back here_. But he doesn't need to know that. And I'll enjoy this while it lasts. I sat down in the grass and stared up at the sky. He said nothing else, then just plopped down beside me, lying back and stretching his long form out, arms resting behind his head. "How did you get your name?" I turned to him and he was already staring up at me expectantly, a small smile on his face. Is it normal to always look this happy?

"Ever wondered how you got yours?" He thought a minute then shook his head

"Not really. Seth is a pretty generic name. There are lots of Seths. I honestly think my mom named me after Seth Meyers, but I never thought to ask."

"I never really got around to asking my mom."

"You should ask her. I'm positive there's a whole story behind it." I blinked then looked away. He doesn't know, Maya. _He doesn't need to know, Maya._

"I haven't seen my mom since I was 5," I blurted out, feeling my chest release some of the tension that had been compressed in it. He was silent for so long, I had to look and make sure he heard me. He'd still been watching me. _It's because of your eyes._ I closed them and looked away. I had noticed he always looked me directly in my eyes when I spoke or when he spoke.

"Where is she?" I shrugged. "Why do you hide your face once you realize I'm looking at you?" I shook my head and he sat up, looking down at me now, looking a lot more serious than the usual happy go lucky attitude he had. "Do I make you uncomfortable?" I laughed and shook my head. I wanted to tell him I felt safer with him than I've ever felt in my entire life, basically, but decided against it.

"No. I just...my eyes." I glanced at him and he furrowed his thick eyebrows, genuinely confused. Maybe he didn't notice.

"What about them?" I gave a frustrated breath and looked at him pointedly. He still seemed confused.

"They're 2 different colors, Seth. One hazel, one blue." He still looked as if I was speaking a foreign language. I sighed, annoyed. "You can't tell me you don't see it."

"I see them. What I don't see is the problem. They're beautiful," he said, face too serious. Why did he have to talk like that? I huffed, pulling my knees to my chest and wrapping my arms around them before resting my chin on them. I thought for a second, the way he looked at me earlier. The way he was looking at me now.

"Why do you look at me like that?"

"You...interest me. I like you."

"You just met me."

"Not really. I've seen you around. And we've had classes together before."

"Yeah in like 9th grade. I'm completely different than I was back then."

"I mean, we just met and you rode here with me." I stared at him then nodded.

"Touche." I didn't need to get into why; didn't need to tell him that he was my escape. My solitude. My peace, if only for the moment.

"Why _did_ you agree to come with me?"

"I don't know. I don't really have much to fear from you, so why not," I said with a shrug, turning back around and lying back in the grass, staring up at the sky.

"You're not scared of me?"

"No. Should I be?" He shook his head. "There's not much that could scare me these days. I've seen a lot." He watched me a while, probably waiting for me to explain, but when I offered nothing further, he laid back alongside me. We sat there for what felt like forever and only a few short moments at the same time, but by the time I sat up, it was pitch black out, the moon shining down over the field, but it was only a quarter moon, so there wasn't much light. I checked my phone, seeing there were 14 missed calls from Camille and 1 from my father. The 1 was what scared me. One voicemail from Camille. I listened to it.

" _Hey, Maya, where are you? Your dad is here looking for you and he's like storming around the school. He looks pretty pissed. You better not be with Seth. Call me._ " I deleted the message, trying to push out the sound of fear in her voice and glancing at the time on my phone. 10:43. Seth was already watching me when I looked over, something I guess was common for him.

"Everything okay?" he asked, an odd look on his face, like he knew something was up. I nodded, quickly standing and heading for the trees.

"I need to go home." I didn't turn to see if he was following, I just knew he was. I didn't want to see the look he was probably giving me. The one silently asking for an explanation; the one that'd make me give an explanation. All of it. Eventually he ended up in front of me, leading the way a lot easier than I had, and took me home as fast as he could, but it still didn't seem fast enough. "Right here is good," I called over the noise and he slowed to a stop. We were a little ways away, but I didn't want my dad to see Seth. The trees should block us enough.

"I can take you to your door, Maya." I shook my head, climbing off the bike and quickly snatching the helmet from my head.

"It's fine. I'll be fine." I looked through the trees, seeing the old black pickup. Oh god. _You knew this was coming._ I did. "Thanks for that. It was nice." He gave a small smile, which was genuine, but his eyes were still curious and seemed a bit worried. Please don't ask me anything else. Please let me go.

"No problem. And, hey, if you wanna-" I was rushing away already.

"Just text it to me," I whispered loudly, trying to not draw attention to us. I took out my keys as I walked up the steps, glancing anxiously at the windows to see if he was watching already. Had he seen Seth? _He's going to kill you_. I opened the door and it was pitch black inside. And too quiet. My heart was racing in my chest, but I shut the door anyways, not wanting Seth to see what was about to happen, since I'm positive he was still there. I stepped in a bit more, hesitant but ready to get this over with. Hands grabbed me immediately and I screamed, whipping around and clawing in front of me, fighting with everything I had. He isn't fighting back. Why isn't he fighting back? A voice registered to me and I came back to reality, seeing my step sister staring at me in shock. Hillary?

"Dude, it's me!" I froze, backing up a little.

"Hillary?" I said, echoing my thoughts. What the hell was she doing here?

"Yes! Jeez, Maya, what's your problem? It was just a joke."

"Where is dad?"

"He left for his fishing trip earlier. He'll be back tomorrow night. Are you okay?" I nodded and walked towards the steps.

"Just tired. I'm going to bed. Good night." I knew she was probably watching me in confusion, but I didn't feel like making up stories right now. There was a frantic knock on the door and I froze.

"Maya? Are you okay?" Shit. Seth. I looked at Hillary and she raised an eyebrow. "Maya?" Hillary opened the door and I cursed under my breath. Seth stood there, eyes wide and frantically searching the room until they rested on me. Without warning, I was scooped up and he was looking and touching everywhere like I was a kid that fell and hurt themselves. What the hell?

"Seth, hey, I'm fine. What are you doing?" He stopped, probably realizing how weird this all was, and stepped back a little.

"I heard you scream. Are you okay?" He heard me? I didn't think I had been that loud.

"Yeah, I'm fine. My sister just scared me." He then turned to Hillary, who waved, a small smirk on her face. Oh gosh.

"Hi, I'm Hillary. Maya's step sister. And...you are?"

"Seth. I'm a...uh...friend of Maya's." She raised an eyebrow, her smile widening.

"Really? Well, it's nice to meet you. Would you like to stay over a bit? I was just about heat up a plate. I cooked dinner, but Maya came home later than usual. I'm sure you're the reason why."

"Yeah, sorry. I didn't know she had plans-"

"Seth actually has to go. Right Seth? School tomorrow?"

"Nonsense. Stay a bit. Just for an hour. Nothing too late." I shook my head, but I knew I would lose this battle. _He's going to find out about this_. I cleared my throat, shaking my head again. For once, I was going to listen to that voice.

"Hillary, you know how dad is about people in the house."

"Yeah, but dad is gone. Therefore, we're free to do as we please."

"No." My voice had been harder than I thought it would be, the fear in it more than obvious, but it worked. Hillary looked at me, her smile gone, actually paying attention to me now. I glanced at Seth and noticed he'd been staring at the fresh hole in the wall. I closed my eyes, the image of the scene playing. The hole was centimeters from where my head had been when my dad had punched it, pieces of plaster hitting my face and sprinkling my clothes. I blinked it away and focused on Seth, who had turned to me now. "Seth, please go." And without a word, he walked out the front door. I heard the motorcycle start up almost seconds later, way shorter time period than I remember walking, then looked at Hillary before turning and going upstairs. I shut and locked my bedroom door before pressing my back against it and sliding down to the floor, having every intention of staying there.

 ** _Ok, so RR, let me know how you guys like it. Any feedback is welcome._**


	2. 2

**_Welcome back! Thanks for joining again to follow Maya's story. Anyways, onward!_**

 _"You're my escape from everything. Please say you'll be my nothing, and I will give you everything…" - 'It's Cool' by Jhene Aiko (Entire song is for this story so feel free to give it a listen before and after.)_

I woke up, still on the floor, but Hillary was banging on my door.

"MAYA! Wake up!" I stared out in front of me, not wanting to open the door. I rose from the floor my body aching, and opened the door. "Finally. Why do you even lock the door?"

"I'll walk to school today, you don't have to take me.." She nodded, eyes trailing down then back up. "I know I look like crap." I shut the door back, locking it once more, then going to shower. This had originally been Hillary's room, but once she moved out and moved to Port Angeles, I pounced to the room to claim it as my own. It gave me more reason to be trapped in my room, with there being a bathroom connected. I quickly showered and brushed my teeth then stared at myself in the mirror as I untangled my thick sandy brown curls, the hair forming a bit of a curly golden waterfall down to my waist, hair just as long as my mother's, if not longer. My skin, golden and almond, still had water droplets over it but I stopped there, not wanting to see the other decorations along my skin, choosing to stare at my eyes instead, one hazel, almost golden, and the other a pastel blue so light, it almost looked clear. I looked exactly like my mother, same hair, same full lips and naturally arched eyebrows, same round face, but our chins pointed whenever we smiled. I hadn't seen mine in a while. Same frame, short in stature, standing at a mere 5'3'' but the "curves of a goddess" as she used to say. "How do you think I caught your dad?" she would say, speaking of my stepfather, who would then smile and give me a little wink. I turned quickly before I could go any further, rushing to finish getting ready. I slipped into the first thing I could find, a pair of old jeans, and a white tee shirt, pulling on my sneakers then hurried downstairs glancing at the hole, wondering what excuse my dad had given Hillary to make her ignore it.

"Good morning." I raised an eyebrow as I walked towards the front door. "What's your problem?" Without a word I walked out the house and paused briefly, noticing a car parked outside. Seth climbed out with a huge grin on his face and I furrowed my eyebrows. What the hell?

"New wheels?" I said.

"More or less. We kinda just trade rides back and forth. After your near breakdown yesterday, I figured a car might be a little better." I shrugged, not planning on telling him what the breakdown was really for, and went to go open the door, then remembered he never unlocked the doors. "Good to see you're so eager to go with me." He unlocked the doors and opened mine before getting in himself. "I didn't think you would agree to come with me."

"I don't feel like going back and forth. It's too early to argue. Plus why not just go? I know you won't hurt me." He looked at me, curious.

"You're not wrong, but what makes you think that?"

"The way you look at me, like nothing else matters. The way you always ensure I'm comfortable and safe and whatnot. Plus you're too... _good_. You wouldn't hurt a fly." He paused a while, smiling like I'd just made his day.

"Well, I'll have you know, I've killed quite a few flies in my time. I'm not as innocent as I appear." I laughed and put on my seatbelt and some music as we pulled off. "Does that bother you?" he asked after a while.

"That you've killed a few flies? No." He let a low chuckle out, shaking his head.

"No, I meant the way I watch you and all that you said before. Does that bother you?"

"No. I will however tell you to never just appear in front of my house again. Just...don't do that." We continued in silence, the low music from the radio being the only sound to be heard. When he parked, he turned the car off and looked over at me. "Go ahead and say it."

"I...I have to ask." I put my head down, my mind already creating a million lies to tell. "The hole in your wall...what happened? Because it looks like…" He trailed off, like he couldn't bring himself to say it. I furrowed my eyebrows, forcing myself to smile believably.

"Like what?" He gave me a pointed look, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. That's adorable.

"Well, like someone punched the hole into the wall." I paused, staring at him blankly, then laughed. Really laughed. This was not to try to get him to believe the act. I'm not sure why I laughed. But it was full on hysterical. I grabbed my bag and got out the car, never answering his question and not having the courage to lie to him. Camille ran over just then, saving me just as Seth had opened his mouth, most likely to ask again.

"We need to talk. _Now_." She gave Seth a huge smile then dragged me away to the school and to my locker. "Okay, what is up with you? Seriously, you've been acting really weird lately. Hanging out with a total stranger, a cute one, but a stranger nonetheless, coming to school periods late, your dad throwing a huge fit in the middle of everyone looking for you." I raised an eyebrow. "I have a theory I hope isn't true. Have you run away from home and have been staying with Seth Clearwater? Because, if you have, I totally don't approve at all. I mean, he's sweet and all, but no normal guy bulks up that fast and doesn't play any sports. And before you ask, yes I checked if he did because it just doesn't make any sense. I had classes with that dude since 9th grade, every year, and one day this year he just disappeared for like a week and came back all macho." She was babbling. _She's so annoying._ She's my friend. My only friend. _Not anymore it seems_. As if on cue, I looked up and Seth was staring at me from across the hall, seeming to be ignoring the guy talking to him, who also glanced at me then smacked Seth's head, making him look away.

"Seriously, though, Maya, what's up with you lately?" I shrugged, smiling a little at Seth, who smiled right back.

"He's different."

"Different from who exactly? You've never even bothered to look in a guy's direction for as long as I've known you. I swore you were a lesbian for the longest, not that there'd be a problem with it, just...curious, ya know." I turned to transfer books in and out of my locker.

"I'm not. I just like the way he is about me."

"The way he is about you? Maya, you've known him for literally a day." I had not the time nor the patience to sit and try to explain something even I didn't get. I shifted the idea around my head, of whether or not it was worth it, then shook my head, settling for a simple response.

"You're thinking too deep into it. I'll see you later."

"Will you? Because it seems like Seth is your new best friend." I rolled my eyes, choosing to ignore it. I'm Camille's only friend since 9th grade, and anyone who knows her says she's never been friends with anyone else before me. She's always been alone. Apparently, according to her sister, she has serious abandonment issues, which I was alright with, honestly, because I didn't really want to be involved with anyone. My lone wolf behavior was a choice, hers is more like an abandoned pup who had to be alone. I laughed, shaking my head.

"Cami, I don't have time for this, alright. I'll see you later." I walked away, giving one last glance to Seth, who, of course, was staring right at me, that smile plastered on his face, too familiar for someone I literally just started talking to. Class was...horrible. Like worse than usual. Normally it was tolerable. But today it was just bad. I didn't want to be here. I needed to get away from here. And I couldn't skip out on going home like yesterday. I wanted everything to be perfect in the house so at least he couldn't be upset about that. It was bad enough what had pissed him off yesterday. I didn't need any more reason to send him into a spiral.

So since I wouldn't be able to escape after school, I would need to escape now. Which is why I approached Seth in the hall while he stood talking to one of his friends. I'd learned that everyone in La Push basically all looked similar, well except for me. My mom was Panamanian and I'd never known what my dad looked like, but, essentially, I suppose I'm mixed. I looked like a mini replica of my mother, from head to toe, so I suppose it didn't matter what he looked like. My step dad had basically been here all my life, so he kinda filled the slot. He's Quileute, hence why we live in La Push.

Anyways, it didn't come as a surprise that Seth's friend was just as tan and tall as him. Even the build was similar, almost. His eyes shifted from Seth to me and this small, knowing smile crept on his face and he looked back at Seth expectantly. He turned to me and, as usual, his entire face seemed to light up.

"Hey," he said as I stopped in front of them.

"Do you want to skip school with me?" He looked shocked and his friend looked back and forth between us. "That sounded like I'm a delinquent, but I assure you, I'm not," I explained to his friend.

"Maybe not, but he is." Seth gave him a look and shrugged.

"He's not wrong. Sure. You ready now?"

"Yes." He took my bag from me, slinging it over his shoulder before nudging his head for me to walk ahead. I obeyed, sighing deeply as soon as we were outside. I felt more free already.

"So where are we going? Back to the field?" I nodded and he opened my door for me before climbing in himself. It was weird. Never had that done before. I mean, I've seen it in movies and stuff but I've never actually had it done to me. I looked over at him as he pulled out of the parking lot and he caught me and grinned. "What?"

"Nothing. You just...I don't know. There's something off about you." His eyes lit up and his smile faltered slightly, and had I not been watching him so closely, I would have missed it, but I noticed the brief change immediately. Then he was back to smiling and looking at me the way he always did. "I guess it's not a bad thing. I've just never experienced anyone treating me the way you do or looking at me like that or always smiling whenever I'm around and whatnot, ya know." I shrugged and sat back, leaving it alone as we pulled up to the same area we began walking last time. I got out and slipped my phone into my back pocket before hurrying ahead of him, conscious of his eyes on me the entire time. How do you manage to watch someone so closely and still seem to be daydreaming? I knew it was something only he could do.

"Tell me about Maya Castillo." I glanced back at him and he looked completely serious.

"Uh...not much to tell."

"There's gotta be something." I shrugged, nearly dying as I tripped over a tree root. Of course, like last time, he had already saw it coming and had caught my arm before I could faceplant into the dirt. He released me with a nervous look in his eyes.

"You have incredible reflexes. That's amazing." He shrugged and began walking ahead of me. Odd. He looked really off. I decided not to ask about it. We broke free of the trees and into the sunlight and he froze then turned to me immediately. I thought he was going to kiss me a moment. _Don't be ridiculous_.

"What happened to your arm?" I furrowed my eyebrows. "Maya I...there are bruises on you." I stared at him blankly with a hint of nonchalance. "If you're in trouble, I can help you. I just...you gotta tell me you need help. Or want it." I turned and headed back to go to the car. "You don't have to tell me what's going on or explain anything. It doesn't matter. But if someone is hurting you, and I'm positive that's not self-harm, then I need to get you out of there."

"Why?" I called behind me, still walking ahead towards the car.

" _Because_." I laughed, still stalking forward, walking a lot harder now.

"That's not an answer." He was suddenly right in front of me, eyes a mix of pleading, anger, and fear.

"Because I want to help you. I need to help you." I rolled my eyes, still smiling. It was kinda sick, how I was choosing to handle all this.

"I'm not your charity case, Seth. Nor am I your problem." He ran a hand through his hair, frustrated, thinking. Why? "I'm fine, okay?" This time, he laughed, but it was scary. Kinda crazed.

"Yeah? That's why you have bruises on your body and holes in your walls?" I stared up blankly, his expression immediately turning to regret, then I walked around him. "Wait, Maya, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that."

"I'll walk home, alright. Don't worry about me."

"I'm not going to let you walk home, Maya, just wait, I'm sorry." He moved in front of me, blocking me.

"Move."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that."

"Yes you did. And it's fine. But we can't talk anymore."

"What? Why?" he said, voice raised, actually looking sad and scared. "Look, whatever, you don't have to tell me anything. It's fine. And I won't ask any more questions. I swear. Just...can we just forget this? Maya, please?" Is he actually begging me to be his friend. He has other friends… "Look, I'll take you home and give you some space. Whatever. Can we just...can we still be friends? I know you probably ha...you don't like me right now, but I really hope we can be friends still. I really like you, Maya."

"Stop saying my name," I said through clenched teeth, closing my eyes so I wouldn't give in.

"Sorry."

"And stop apologizing," I whispered, crossing my arms around my stomach. I could tell he was still staring at me, trying to figure out what to do, then I felt a hot hand on my arm. I opened my eyes wide and stared at it. He hesitated a bit, then pulled me into a hug that silenced all my thoughts and instantly made me relax. I never knew hugs could be this powerful. Maybe it's just the way he does it. And how warm he always was. I bet that comes in handy in the dead of winter. He pulled away and kinda smiled a little, the most adorable thing I've ever seen. I wanted to kiss him so bad. _Do it and your father will kill you for sure_. I stretched up on my tip toes, pulling his head down by the back of his neck and crashing my lips to his before I could talk myself out of it. It was...amazing. I've never kissed a boy before. But it felt really natural, like it was meant to happen anyways, his lips moving in tune with mine. An arm snaked around my waist and pressed me to his body, chest hard and blazing hot, while his other free hand cupped my cheek. There was an electric shock the minute his hand touched my face and it made me shiver, but I was too focused to care. It was unreal how safe and comfortable I felt kissing a stranger, but there was no need to question it. I pulled away, dropping back to the ground and looking up at him, both curious and nervous. His eyes were wide and his breathing was ragged. Seth with ragged breath? He's the calmest person I know. I stepped back, looking down at the ground. "I'm sorry." He laughed and shook his head.

"Why are you apologizing?"

"I don't know." He reached out and pulled me back to him, placing a finger under my chin and lifting my head so I looked up at him. "I guess because I shouldn't have kissed you."

"And why is that?"

"I don't know." There's that smile again.

"Well what _do_ you know?"

"That I just set us up for failure." He didn't ask, and I know he already kinda had an idea as to why. "Everything is all blurry and wrong." I could tell he wanted me to elaborate, but was too scared to ask. He knew I'd walk away again. "My mother is from Panama. That's where I was born and lived. She left when I was 5, no explanation. I haven't seen her since. My stepfather moved us here and now it's just the 2 of us. That's a little something about me." He nodded, looking conflicted. _He knows now_. "Can you not bring the stuff up anymore. You know…" He knew.

"Yeah, I won't. I'm sorry. But...Maya, I can help you-"

"I'm fine, Seth." He looked down at my arms and I covered them with my hands. "Can you just take me home? I...I need to clean up and whatnot." I didn't wait for an answer, walking around him to the car and climbing in, waiting. He was right behind me, still looking like he was straining himself. _You made it worse_. I nodded to the voice in my head and pulled my knees to my chest, staring straight forward the entire, silent ride. And this silence wasn't the good kind. I mumbled a goodbye and hurried out the car to my door, rushing inside before I could make myself look back and change my mind. It was quiet in the house, the truck gone, which meant Hillary was gone. Perfect. She wouldn't be in the way. I started in the living room, planning to save the kitchen for last since I had to make dinner anyways and would need to clean after that too. I was done within 2 hours, the entire place spotless, then set in on dinner, making myself something to eat, too, since I realized I'd never actually eaten today. There was a knock at the door, probably Hillary since she didn't have a key to the house anymore and I padded over, my bare feet tensing along the cold tile. I opened the door and there he stood.

"Seth?" He smiled and rubbed the back of his neck. "Did I forget something? What's wrong?"

"We were supposed to skip together." My eyes widened and I looked down at my bleach stained gray shorts and sports bra, then back at him. "Sorry, I didn't know you were…"

"No, I thought you were my sister?"

"Well, jeez, Maya, I know my hair is long and all but I didn't think I looked girly." I rolled my eyes and looked behind him. "Yes, I've been sitting there for two hours trying to get up the courage to come up here."

"Why would you need to get up the courage?" He gave me a look like I should know. "Do...do I make you nervous or something?"

"I mean, yeah, I guess. I just don't, you know, wanna scare you away but you seem to not have fully accepted that I literally want to spend every second of my time with you, so it might freak you out." I stared up at him a while then pursed my lips. _You're going to regret this_. Probably.

"What time is it?"

"11:23." I looked down and stepped back, motioning for him to come in. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, come in." He beamed and entered. My dad would probably be back home about 9 tonight. He usually would come home later, always stopping at the bar with the boys after the trip, but since he hasn't seen me in 2 days, he would definitely rush home as soon as he could. I knew that for a fact. Whether he'd be angry or calm is what I didn't know, but sober was better than the latter. "Are you hungry?"

"Starving."

"Okay, do burgers work? We have a grill out back."

"Yeah, that's perfect."

"Okay, I'll go fire it up."

"No, I got it. You finish eating." Before I could argue, he was already on his way out. I smiled and pulled the burgers out of the freezer to thaw, finishing up my pasta lunch and checking on the chicken baking in the oven. I was making chicken paella for dinner, my dad's favorite dish, hoping that would soften him up a bit from the other day. If he wasn't already defused enough as it is, this would do the trick.

I made my way outside with the burgers and Seth turned to me then looked around the area, a huge smile on his face as he took it all in. There weren't any other houses within 2 miles in all directions, and we were surrounded by land full of trees and plant life with a small shed a few ways away for whatever reason. We never actually used it for anything, so I'm not really sure why we never tore it down, but whatever.

"You okay?" He nodded, turning back to me.

"This is just amazing. Open space, cleared out of trees, too. There should be an amazing echo effect here." I furrowed my eyebrows and smiled, throwing the burgers on the grill. "Sorry, nature nerd."

"S'fine. Can I ask a question?"

"Anything," he said, giving me his undivided attention. This time, I stared back.

"How was it?"

"How was what?" I gave him a pointed look and he smiled. "The most amazing feeling I've ever had the pleasure to experience." I rolled my eyes at his dramatics and began tending to the burgers. He took the spatula from me and motioned for me to sit, which I obeyed. "Why did you do it?" I looked down a minute then back to him.

"Because I wanted to. And I'm not being arrogant or mean or anything, honest, but I've never just done something just because I wanted to. I just...I don't know."

"Alright. Can I ask a question now?" I waited hesitantly, hoping he wouldn't ask about everything. His back was to me, so I couldn't see his face, but his body was tense. "Do you think I'm moving things too fast? Like I'm pushing things too far?"

"Yes and no." He closed the grill top and sat down beside me, folding his arms across his chest, which made his arms bulge a little. I tore my eyes from him immediately.

"Explain."

"Well, no because I like the way things are flowing. They're going at the pace they want, without any pressure or anything. I like when things just flow however they do without intervention."

"But?"

"I know this...whatever this is, is short lived." I looked back up to him so he could see just how serious I was. "Because my father would never allow it. So, in that case, this is moving too fast because why get attached to someone or something that you already know will be gone soon. And may get you in a lot of trouble. It's not worth it." He nodded, grabbing my hand and absently playing with my fingers, eyeing them like they were the most interesting thing in the world.

"What if I think it is worth whatever trouble may come?"

"I'd think you may just be a stubborn fool."

"What if I say I'd be here regardless…" I turned to him and shook my head.

"I'd know you're just a stubborn fool." He laughed and I couldn't help my smile, but I was serious. "I would ask why you think it's worth it, but I'm sure I wouldn't get a direct answer."

"Because I-"

"Like me," I said, finishing his sentence. "So I've heard." I stood to get the burgers off, knowing they had to be done by now, and took them inside, too aware that he was right behind me. He waved me away, motioning in the general area of the living room and I rolled my eyes, but went and plopped down on the couch, crossing my legs and flicking on the TV to the first movie I could find. He joined me soon enough, setting down with five burgers covered in cheese and ketchup and smiled at me before leaning back and stretching out his long legs. It felt weird to have him here in my house. He seemed so out of place, so bright and happy, whereas the house seemed dull and dark compared to him. Yet he looked so comfy on our old emerald green couch, feet resting on the mahogany and glass table in front of us, ankles crossed while wolfing down burgers. I smiled a little, ducking my head as soon as he looked at me, probably having already caught me watching him from the corner of my eye. He laughed and sat down his plate, only 1 burger left on it.

"Come here, little bird." He pulled me to him, effortlessly lifting me from the couch and setting me down right by his side, wrapping an arm around my waist. It seemed so normal for him, but I was freaking out inside. His body was so warm and cozy. I wanted to lean into him and take it all in, all the heat and scent of cinnamon and woods and nature and freshness, but I kept my back stiff, not really sure whether or not it would be okay, my heart pounding in my chest. "Relax, Maya. I don't bite." That made it worse. An image of my dad popped in my head, the scene when he said it to me replaying. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying not to give into the dark thoughts. He's not him. Seth is not my dad. I shook my head and stood, moving out of his grip, trying to appear to be as calm as possible.

"Are you thirsty?" I squeaked, making my way to the kitchen. I knew his eyes were on me the entire time, but kept mine trained on the ground as I opened the fridge, grabbing the juice and quickly turning my back to him, grabbing 2 glasses from the cabinet. I came back, handing him a glass then curled up on the smaller chair, further away from where he sat, forcing myself to stare at the TV.

"Did I do something wrong?" I turned to him, giving my best faux look of confusion.

"What do you mean?" He raised his eyebrows, a pointed look on his face.

"Is there a particular reason you're sitting across the room right now?"

"I got cold. It's warmer over here." He stared at me, eyes slightly narrowed and head cocked.

"I run a pretty high degree of heat from my body and I'm positive you felt it...yet you're cold?"

"I'm sorry, I said it wrong. I meant I was a bit hot and it's cooler over here." He rolled his eyes and dropped his feet from the table, resting his elbows on his knees and dropping his head, his hair falling over his face. He mumbled something under his breath, something about doing something wrong.

"You're scared of me." He said it so low, I almost didn't hear him, but my ears had already been straining to hear him anyways. My eyes widened and I shook my head, mouth opened slightly, trying to force something out to console him, to tell him it's not his fault. But nothing came out. "I'm sorry. I...I'm trying to make you comfortable. I'm trying really hard to make this easy. I don't know what I'm doing wrong." His voice was so defeated and drained. Why is he beating himself up about this? "Could...could you just tell me what to do to make you comfortable? Is it because I get too close into your personal space? Do I...do I talk too much or too little? Am I pushing too hard? What is it that I can do? Maya, I...I _really_ like you and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable or awkward around me. I want you to be able to be free with me, you know, but if I'm pushing too hard or something doesn't feel right or...or you just...don't want to be friends with me, let alone more, then...then I'll respect that and I'll step back and give you space. Whatever you need, I can do that. Just...just _tell_ me what you want and I'll give that to you-"

"Seth." He breathed in deep, finally, holding it in a bit then it came out ragged and slow. I chewed the inside of my cheek, then stood and walked over and sat down on the floor in front of him, meeting his eyes, his head still dipped. He looked scared and strained, his big pretty brown eyes wide. "It's not your fault…" I said slowly. I could tell he knew I was talking about more than the monologue he just spat. And that seemed to only make him feel worse, his body tense and he looked angry now. I wrung my hands between one another, trying to will them to stop shaking, then reached up hesitantly and rested it against his cheek. His eyes closed as soon as my palm touched his face and he exhaled deeply, all the tension seeming to leave his body. He pressed his hand to mine, holding it to his face, stopping it from trembling, then those dark eyes met mine and I melted inside a little. "I'm sorry. I know it's really hard to get through to me and I know you're trying." He shook his head and was about to protest, but I held up my other hand, making him stop. "Let me finish. I...I haven't been trying much at all. I know. And there's no excuse behind it. I do like you. A lot. And I don't want you to leave. God, I don't want you to ever leave. But...you scare me." His face fell into an immediate look of panic and I shook my head. "Not the way you think you do. I'm not scared of you. I'm scared of the way you make me feel. I've never...I don't really know how to handle this kinda thing. I've always been really... _sheltered_. And I know you know enough to feel guilty with everything, but you can't really blame yourself for something like this." I dropped my hand and held them in my lap. "I'll actually try. I want you to be comfortable, too. And I like to see you happy. And I know what I'm about to ask you is selfish, but I need you to...to not worry about me so much. I need you to at least _pretend_ to be okay with everything." I was too scared to look up and see the look of disgust I was sure he'd have on his face. "I like having you around. You're my escape from it all and you keep me sane, so I don't want you to leave." My mind went rushing in a million different places, wondering what he was thinking. _He thinks you're sick. And you are. You must like it if you haven't stopped it yourself by now._ I squeezed my eyes shut, wanting to curl in on myself, then his finger was under my chin, lifting my head and he rested his forehead against mine.

"Whatever you want." He smiled a little, but it was a ghost of the usual smile, and mine mirrored his. The door opened and I snapped back, staring wide eyed at the door, fear swelling in my chest, thick and slow and creeping like a fungus, covering every inch of my being. Hillary walked in, eyes staring wide at us, shock in hers though.

"Oh, sorry, didn't know you'd be home. Wait, what time is it?"

"We skipped school." She raised her eyebrows and nodded, looking around the room and walking to where her phone sat.

"Forgot my phone. Carry on." She walked out and the house was filled with silence. I still stared at the door and glanced at Seth from my peripheral.

"I was hoping it...wasn't her." I know what he really had planned to say, but didn't bother commenting on it. "You want to leave, don't you?" I nodded, eyes still trained on the door, and he stood. "Okay. We can go to the meadow now if you want. Or to my house. My mom is in town and I don't think my sister is home, so you won't have to worry about questions or anything." I said nothing, unable to answer right now. He knew that though. "C'mon." He helped me from the floor and sat me on the couch, cleaning up everything outside and in the kitchen then coming back and dropping down in front of me. "Although I do love this outfit you've got going on, you have to change in order for us to leave." I nodded. "Do you want me to help?" I shook my head and stood, walking upstairs and quietly changing, then hurried back downstairs. He was waiting in the car, which made me feel a lot better, and the house was spotless. I walked out, locking the door, and hurried to the car. There was an underlying feel of distance, but I guarantee it was mainly because we were both trying to avoid what was really going on; the topic I know he wanted to bring up.

"You can say it…" I said and he laughed a little, shaking his head.

"No. You asked me to let it go and not to bring it up, and that's what actually makes you comfortable, so I'll leave it at that. There are a million other things we can talk about and a billion other things I want to know about you." I smiled a little. "You have the most amazing smile, you know that?" I rolled my eyes but couldn't help laughing. "I'm serious. Stops my heart everytime I see it."

"You're so dramatic."

"And you're so beautiful." That made me blush and I instinctively ducked my head then reached over and kissed his cheek. He glanced at me, grinning from ear to ear, and I rolled my eyes again as we pulled up to the same spot as last time. "I figured you'd rather come here than go to my house. Here, we're sure that no one will bother you." I nodded, mentally thanking him because he was absolutely right. Satisfied that I approved, he grabbed his bag from the backseat and motioned for me to follow him. "So, I notice you like to read, with all the books in your house, and you always have a book to read, so I thought maybe we could read. Or, you could rather. I'm not big on reading at all. But my mom likes poetry and stuff and had this book of poems. I figured you'd like it and I was wondering if you could read it to me." I smiled and nodded, tucking my hands in my back pockets. "What's your favorite song right now? Not all-time. Your current favorite song."

" _Pretty Little Birds_ by _SZA_ ," I answered without hesitation. He pulled out his phone and within seconds, the beat of the song began to play. I smiled, bumping his shoulder and listening to the lyrics. That's what really got me. The lyrics. They were so deep and intricate and poetic. And even though I had never truly felt this way, well, at least not before Seth, I had this deep connection to it. I could listen to it on repeat. And with Isaiah Rashad's part, it kinda held it all together, giving it a great ending, too.

"My wings don't spread like they used to, but I wanna fly with you…" he said, quoting it and nodding. "That's actually a really great song. Not at all what I was expecting." I nodded back, eyes trained on the ground. "Have you ever felt that way?" I looked back up at him, kind of shocked, and he was already watching me, this hopeful look in his eyes.

"Is your actual question whether or not I feel that way about you?" He smiled, running a hand through his hair.

"Yeah, in all honesty." I looked back to the ground, a small smirk forming.

"Yes, in fact, I do. That is exactly how I feel."

"Tell me about it, then."

"That song just about sums it up for me. I've never been good with explaining things, which is why I write and sing instead. It's a lot easier. Music has the ability to say all the things I can't."

"You sing?"

"I'm a multi-artist, as I like to say. I sing, dance, write poetry, music, compose, play the piano and violin. When I was back home my mother put me in almost every activity she could find to keep me out of the house. Artistic things were all I clung to, so she kept me in them. I started singing when I was 2, dancing at 3, piano and violin at 4 and everything else I kind of learned on my own."

"Can I...see? Hear? Whatever. Witness? All of that?" I laughed and nodded as we broke free of the trees.

"In due time. I don't really do much of it anymore. When we moved my dad kinda got rid of my violin and our piano and would always yell at me to stop singing. Dancing was also out of the question and I kinda stopped writing on my own after a while. Hillary said it reminded him of my mother." I shrugged and plopped down in the grass and holding my hand out for the book. He sat down, handing me the book, then laid back and rested his head on my thigh, grinning.

"Do you mind this?"

"No, it's fine." He closed his eyes, exhaling deeply, then I opened the book and let go.

 ** _Ok, so RR, let me know how you guys like it. Any feedback is welcome. Don't forget to listen to the song after, too. That's how I intended it. Once I finished the chapter and listened to the song, I could see certain scenes and feel the way Maya did. I don't add many emotions, because she doesn't express many, and she just explained why. Art was her emotional outlet, so once that was gone, so was her ability to express herself. So yeah. Anyways, that's chapter 2. Hope you enjoyed it._**


	3. 3

**_Welcome all! Alright, Chapter 3. Aaaaand……ACTION!_**

 _"I'll wait...so show me why you're strong. Ignore everybody else, we're alone…" 'Retrograde'_ by _James Blake (Entire song is for this story so feel free to give it a listen. I'll indicate when the song began playing for me.)_

We'd finished halfway through the book by the time it was 8 pm, the curfew I gave myself to start heading back. I wanted to be back before my dad, giving him no reason to be upset. The time away from the house was blissful, though, so I was almost willing to risk it. Seth had sat in silence listening to me read and drone on about each poem's meaning the entire time, but he never seemed bored. He was actually intrigued, seeming to enjoy just the sound of my voice alone.

"We should start heading back," I said, closing the book and turning my head to look up at him. We'd switched as the sun began going down, and he laid on his back, one arm supporting his head, and I laid back on his chest, his other arm securely wrapped around my waist, absently playing with a stand of my hair, which I had taken down from the loose knot it had been in. He waited a while, just looking at me, then I sat up with a smile. "Seth, while I would love to sit here forever with you, I really need to get home. My dad is on his way back." His smile dropped, eyes immediately going to my arm. "Please." He sat up, face angry now, and began walking back towards the car. More like stomping back, his entire being hard and tense. I hurried after him, walking in silence behind him until we got to the car. "Seth, you said-"

"I know what I said."

"Then why are you angry right now?"

"Are you really asking me that?" he said, his voice rising and a look of disbelief and pain on his face. "Maya, you have no idea how badly I want to kill him. You have no idea how much I'm restraining myself from going into that house and beating in his head until his skull shatters. You asked me to pretend everything is okay, but I can't do that! Because I know he's hurting you and I know there's nothing I can do about it because you won't let me. And I fucking love you so there's no way I'd ever defy you or go against what you said, so no matter how much I want to do something, I can't unless you tell me to. You can't imagine how that feels, Maya. You don't get it. It's easy for you because you just deny it all. I can't do that!" I stared, eyes wide and frozen. "And I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at myself for not being able to do anything."

"You...Seth, you just said…" His expression changed, fear rising, and I could see he was trying to remember what he'd said, probably thinking he'd said something mean. But that's the last thing I was focused on. "You said you love me…" His face fell, a bit in relief, then he grabbed the back of his neck, never denying it. "Seth?"

"I'm sure you didn't need me to say it to know that, Maya." I stared at him, not really knowing what to do or say now. "Say something, please?" I opened my mouth, searching my brain for something, _anything_ , but the only thing I could think of was what he'd said. He made a sound, like a growl rumbling in his chest, then stalked over to me and gripped the back of my neck and kissed me like his life depended on it. He seemed to have been holding it in for a while. He pulled away and pressed his head to mine, his eyebrows knitted together.

"I have to go home," I whispered and he closed his eyes a while, then moved back.

"What if I come with you?"

"He doesn't like us to have company."

"Maya, I can't just send you in there knowing what I know."

"You don't know anything, Seth." _Start a fight and he'll leave you alone._ I furrowed my eyebrows and folded my arms. "You wouldn't get it, alright. You're just so perfect and happy with this amazing life and you've never had to work or struggle for anything."

"What?"

"You don't even know me, Seth. We literally just met 2 days ago. Now all of a sudden you're an expert on my life? Get over yourself."

"Maya what the hell are you talking about? I never said-"

"You didn't have to say it. Actions speak louder than words, jackass."

"Are you kidding me?" It was working. "Are you seriously about to start a fight about this. I'm trying to help you."

"I don't need your help! Did that ever occur to you? Maybe I like this. Maybe there's a reason why I deal with it. You don't know anything about him!"

"I know he's hurting you!"

"Oh, like you wouldn't do the same."

"I would _never_ hurt y-"

"You have no idea what goes on in that house. So why don't you just mind your business instead pretending like you're some big savior capable of fixing everything. I'm not broken. I'm perfectly fine. You didn't even notice anything was wrong until you stalked into my house uninvited!"

"You screamed! I was helping y-"

"Take me home!" I yelled, pushing his chest. He was shaking now. Like really shaking, his face that of pure rage. Wow. "Help by taking me home!" He stared at me then he was at the car, yanking open the door, breaking the handle and nearly ripping the door from its hinges. I had to keep up the act so I walked over, being sure to stomp a bit, and slamming the door shut, staring out the window as he peeled off towards my house. My house was probably a good 20 minutes away from the field but I swear he got us there in 10. I slammed the door when I got out and stalked into the house, shutting the door quickly and pressing my back to it, eyes closed.

"Who was that?" My eyes shot open and I stared at my dad standing in the kitchen. There was some dry, burnt thing in front of him, then I covered my mouth, realizing it was the chicken from the oven. I'd forgotten all about it. So that's what that burning smell was. I thought it was still from the grill. "I asked you a question." Well, he didn't seem pissed, but he had a glass in his hand and I immediately spotted the bottle of Scotch sitting on the cabinet.

"A friend from school. We have a class together and we're doing a study group for finals and he offered a bunch of us a ride home." He nodded and glanced down at the chicken. "I put that in the oven this morning and asked Hillary to watch it while I was at school, but I guess I shouldn't have left her in charge." He nodded again, smiling a little.

"I agree." My heart felt it was about to burst from my chest. He tossed the chicken into the trash, pulling a water bottle from the fridge. "No worries. I ate before I came home. Were you making paella?" I nodded and he looked over at me, confused. "Is there something wrong?"

"No."

"Then why are you standing by the door like that?" I quickly leaned off the door and walked into the kitchen, sitting up on one of the bar stools and taking the water bottle he was handing me.

"So, how was the trip?"

"Eh, pretty good. We didn't catch too much, seems we should've gone later, so we're planning to go again when it gets a little warmer. But we had fun nonetheless." I nodded and smiled. "I've missed you, though. It always feels odd leaving you here all alone." My smile faltered a little, but I forced it on anyways. There was a look in his eyes, an all too familiar one. I stood then and stretched, giving a yawn for extra measure.

"Well, glad you're back safe. I'm gonna head up to go to sleep. I have a bit of a headache."

"Do you know where your sister is?"

"No. I haven't seen her since this morning."

"Do you know when she'll be back? About what time she comes in?" I shook my head, fear rising in my chest. "You look so much like your mother it's almost scary. It's like I'm talking to her sometimes." That's my cue. I could feel his eyes trained on me as I walked to the stairs and I fought the shiver that threatened to escape, hurrying into my room and locking the door then slid a chair in front of it for extra measure. I glanced out the window, checking if Seth was gone, and there was a small bit of sadness once I saw he was. Looks like I'll be walking to school from now on until finals. I showered and was just getting dressed when the knock came, followed by the wiggle of the doorknob. "Maya…" And there it was, the urge to scream, fear creeping its way and slowly spreading throughout my body, my brain going into hyperdrive. "Maya, open the door," he said, his voice calm but strained. I swallowed, backing away from the door. "I'm not going to say it again." My back hit the wall and I slid down to the floor, pulling my knees to my chest and wrapping around myself, willing myself not to cry, staring at the door praying it would hold up. There was silence for a while, and I thought he'd simply walked away, then there was a loud bang against the door that made me jump and the door shake. "Maya!" My breathing had picked up and I could feel my heart banging in my chest. _BANG_! "Open the door!" He began to beat at the door repeatedly with curses and screams at me, the door rattling at every blow, struggling to hold up. I reached and grabbed my phone, then went through it, immediately going to Seth's number. _He won't help you. He hates you now._ I shivered at the condescending voice, then froze. It was quiet on the other side of the door. Did he give up? I jumped at the blow to the door, this one louder and harder than the others, like he was hitting it with something, and the door cracked a little. I pressed the call button quickly and prayed to the heavens that he'd pick up. He answered on the second ring and somehow still managed to sound a little happy to see my call, even after what I'd said.

Song begins playing for me here*

"Hey, Maya, look, I…" he trailed off, probably hearing all the commotion. "Maya? What is that?"

"You were right," I whispered, my voice trembling.

"Are you crying?" A low whimper escaped as another crack came from the door followed by more screams and curses, a chip of the door falling to the floor. "Maya, what's going on? Talk to me."

"Can you come get me? Please?"

"I'm on my way," he said without hesitation and I heard the car door close immediately. A bat burst through the door and I stared wide eyed, unable to speak or move. "Maya?" Seth called, louder now, but I couldn't answer. My dad stared at me through the hole, eyes full of rage. He reached through towards the doorknob and I ran into the bathroom, slamming the door shut and pushing the metal towel shelf in front of the door, praying Seth would get here before he could break through this door too. I crouched down on the floor between the tub and the toilet, wishing I had just taken my chances and jumped out the window in the bedroom. He'd gotten into the bedroom by this point, his heavy footsteps moving to stop in front of the bathroom.

"Maya, do you really want to do this again? You know I'm going to get in, and this is only pissing me off more. So just open the door to save yourself the trouble."

"Please stop," I called, holding my hands up to my ears trying to block it all out. The bat hit the door and the shelf fell over from the force, a loud clanging sound resonating as it hit the tile. I started singing loudly, trying to block it all out, hot tears streaming down my face.

There was some commotion for a bit, then I heard a loud thud followed by complete silence. I uncovered my ears, staring at the door.

"Maya?" I scrambled out from the space and pulled the shelf out of the way, slowly opening the door and finding Seth. He stared at me a while, eyes wide, scanning over me, probably looking for scars. I looked around him, seeing my father on the ground, still.

"Is he dead?" Seth shook his head.

"I figured you wouldn't want me to kill." I stared at the body. He was right, but I still wish he'd just done it anyways. "Do you want me to kill him?" he asked, completely serious, no hesitation in his voice. I shook my head. "Come on." I hurried out, Seth following close behind. He opened the door and I slid in, staring out the window, not wanting to turn to look at him. And just like that, we were driving away. I rolled down my window and put my hand out, feeling the cold night air whipping around and numbing my hand. Ironically, it let me know I was alive, which made me close my eyes and sigh in content. We pulled to a stop and I looked at the adorable little yellow house in front of me. I glanced at Seth and he smiled a little, but I could tell it was more so for my benefit than genuinity. "This is my house. My mom's here, but my sister...she's out." I nodded, ducking my head and getting out the car. He led me up to the house and I followed him in hesitantly. A woman walked out, guessing it was his mother from her aged but beautiful face covered in gorgeous tan skin and dark hair, pulled up into a knot.

"Is she here? Is she alright?" she asked frantically, glancing over and seeing me hidden behind Seth. "Oh thank goodness." She rushed over and pulled me into a hug, immediately making me relax but also making me cry. It was warm and loving, everything a hug from a mother should be, which immediately made me think of my own mother. "I am so sorry you had to go through that, sweety. Are you hungry? What do you need? Whatever you want, you can have." I shook my head. She pulled away, her hands still on my shoulders, staring me right in my eyes. "You are safe here. He will never hurt you again, do you hear me?" I nodded and she wiped the tears from my face then glanced up at Seth, who nodded in approval. "Okay, go ahead and get changed up and relax. If you need anything, let me know, alright?" I nodded again and Seth reached out, then stopped letting his hand drop back to his side.

"You can follow me." He walked down the hall to the last room then opened the door, revealing a small and cozy room that was perfect for me, but seemed small for him, with how freakishly tall he was. He probably hit a weird growth spurt that no one really expected. But it was nice, enough for two, although something told me he wasn't going to stay with me. "So, this is my room. You can change and sleep in here." He paused. "You didn't bring clothes, did you?" I shook my head and he turned, digging in his dresser, then pulled out a pair of shorts and a tee shirt. "Is this okay?" Nod. "Okay. You can go ahead. Let me know if you need anything." He walked out, avoiding eye contact and shut the door behind him. I sat down on the bed for a while, looking out the window. There was nothing but dark trees ahead. I honestly wasn't sure how to feel. I was numb to any feeling or voluntary thoughts. The only thing that could register was the fact that I was in Seth's house, in his room, in his bed. He must still be a little mad at me. He didn't say much to me at all. He barely looked at me. Never touched me, not even briefly.

Are you honestly surprised? You yelled at him then begged him for help, what he was trying to do anyways. He thinks you're sick and bipolar. But you are. I stood and stripped down to just my underwear, folding my clothes up, tucking my bra under everything, then dressed in the shirt and shorts. The shirt draped over my body loosely, stopping at my thighs, well enough to cover the good parts, but the shorts were definitely necessary. They were loose, but I tightened them as much as the drawstring would go and knotted them. My hair was still a little damp from my shower, hanging down and curling into ringlets at my waist. I probably looked like a hobo, but it didn't matter. I hesitated at the door, then walked back out to the living room quietly, seeing Seth sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. I could tell he knew I was there, though. I tapped his shoulder anyways and he sighed and stood, walking around the couch. I thought he was going to walk away to his room, but instead he scooped me up in his arms, lifting me from the ground. I was a little shocked and just sat there at first, then relaxed and hugged him back, relieved he wasn't angry with me, or didn't seem to be.

"I should've never left you there. I'm so sorry." I rolled my eyes, annoyed now, and pushed at him for him to put me down, to which he obeyed. "Did I hurt you? I'm sorry."

"Will you stop. Stop apologizing to me and being sweet and nice and blaming yourself. I yelled at you. I started a stupid fight. Why are you still being so nice to me?"

"Maya-"

"No. Stop with the pity party, alright. I don't want your pity. You just don't get it. You keep blaming yourself for what's wrong with me like you're actually to blame here."

"Maya."

"I don't want you to just be nice because of what happened, okay. You have me in your house for god's sake, wearing your clothes, and your mom, god, your mom is freaking amazing and-"

"MAYA!" I stared at him, mouth open still. "Stop talking." I closed my mouth and waited for him to say something. "I don't pity you, Maya. And I'm not doing this because I feel bad for you. I'm doing it because I care. I'm doing it because I want you to be safe and I know for a fact that the safest place in the world for you is with me. I brought you here so you could have a bit of peace for once. I did this because I don't want you anywhere else but with me. Okay? I take responsibility because I knew something was wrong and I've given myself the responsibility to always keep you safe. And I wasn't doing that." I crossed my arms and looked down, feeling stupid now. "I did this so you could let someone else be strong for once. And don't mistake what I'm saying as you going through that all these years as strength. It was survival. Your strength isn't determined by how much abuse you could put up with. That's not why you're strong." He lifted my chin, ducking down to my eye level. "But I want you to let me be the strong one this time. Can you do that for me?" I looked away, not liking how serious he looked and how he stared directly into my eyes or the feeling I got from it. "Please?"

"Okay," I whispered. He smiled and I swear my heart melted as he kissed my forehead.

"Get some rest. I'll be right here if you need me, okay?" he said, pointing to the couch, but I shook my head. "What's wrong?"

"Will you sleep with me? Please?"

"Of course. Whatever you want."

"Is that okay? Will your mom…"

"No, it's fine," he said, extending his hand to me and I took it hesitantly, letting him lead me back to his room, shutting the door behind me. He had gone to take off his shirt and I froze, eyes wide and staring at his stomach. How can a stomach be so muscular. "Maya?" My eyes snapped up to his and he was smiling, one eyebrow raised, hands still frozen with his shirt halfway up. "Did you hear me?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Do you?"

"Do I what?" He laughed and shook his head.

"Want me to keep my shirt on." No. Not at all. Never wear a shirt again, you beautiful Adonis.

"No, it-it's fine. Do whatever..."

"You sure? You look like you're going to pass out."

"Mhm," I squeaked, shuffling a little. He pulled his shirt the rest of the way over his head and tossed it into a hamper, my eyes trained on his back the entire time, watching his muscles move and roll as he did, eyes trailing down from his back to his waist- he even has a cute butt- going down to his legs, covered mostly by shorts that had definitely seen better days, but I had never seen a more beautiful creature in my life.

"Are you staring at me?" My eyes widened, panicked, and I looked back up as he turned, a playful smirk on his face, my own heating up.

"S-sorry." He laughed and reached for me.

"Can I hug you?" I rolled my eyes.

"Seth, I'm not going to pass out-"

"That's not why." I furrowed my eyebrows then realized why he'd asked, nodding but looking away as I moved into his outstretched arms, feeling as safe as I could ever be. He was right, at least it felt like he was. Like this was the safest place on earth; like nothing and no one could hurt me in his arms.

"Thank you. For helping me." He laughed a little, his chest rumbling against my head.

"Of course. There's no need to thank me for that."

"You don't get it."

"Neither do you." I pulled away, looking up at him.

"What don't I get?" He shook his head and climbed into bed, stretching out his arms for me. I hesitated, but I did ask him to stay with me, so I climbed into bed, letting his arm wrap around me as I snuggled my face into his chest, engulfed in his heat and fresh scent. I sighed in content and closed my eyes, doing what he said and letting go of everything, if only for a night. "Seth?"

"Hmm?" he mumbled, lightly rubbing my back.

"Why did you say you loved me? Earlier?" His hand paused.

"I'm sorry about that. I shouldn't have said that. Like you said, we've only known each other for 3 days."

"But you never denied it. Actually, you owned up to it. And you still haven't denied it."

"It's...complicated. Difficult to explain."

"Can you try?"

"Later. I'll explain later. Get some rest."

 _"Did you really think you could get away from him that easily, child?" I whipped around in the darkness, looking for her, but saw nothing. "He's not simply going to let you go. Not that easy. You should have killed him when you had the chance." There was an eerie sense in the room and a chill ran up my spine although it felt like it was well over 100 degrees. "He's obsessed with you, child. And I suppose you have me to blame." I looked around, but the only thing there was a mirror. Where is she? "You are a reflection of me in his eyes. You are me. And he won't let me get away again." I walked over to the mirror slowly, but it all seemed like I was watching everything from the side, no longer in control. I could tell I was me, but in the mirror, my mother stared back at me, blood running down her forehead from a bruise and a dark figure in the background. She smiled deviously. "You belong to him." The dark figure was right behind her now, then I heard the whistle of a bat soaring through the air and jumped out of the way just in time before the bat could hit me. It crashed into the mirror, shattering it and sending glass flying about. My dad looked at me, smiling, just as my mother had._

 _"You belong to me." Then I was once again engulfed in darkness and silence, my own heartbeat ringing in my ears being the only sound._

 _"Please don't hurt me," I whispered._

 _"Maya?" a voice called, but it seemed so far away. "Maya…" Then arms encircled me and I screamed, fighting back with everything I had in me. "Maya! Stop!"_

"NO!"

"Maya!" I snapped awake, eyes shooting open and meeting soft dark eyes filled with concern. Seth had me pinned down, but we were on the floor, his knees locking mine down and he had my wrists above my head, preventing me from moving. I was panting, still terrified, my hands shaking, then my eyes began to water. Here we go with the waterworks. "Am I hurting you?" he said, frantically releasing me. I shook my head and he pulled me to him. "What happened?"

"It was a stupid nightmare." The door opened quickly and Seth's mother stood in the doorway.

"What's wrong?"

"It was just a nightmare. She's okay, mom." She looked at me for confirmation and I nodded.

"I'm sorry."

"It's quite alright. Come with me. I know just the thing to help with that." I glanced at Seth, then reluctantly followed his mother out into the kitchen. I stood in the doorway hesitantly, then walked in and stood by the counter, glancing at the clock hanging on the wall. 1:53. She moved to the cabinet and began taking out several different kinds of herbs stored in mason jars. "When I was little, I would get nightmares almost every night. Night terrors, to be exact. It began to get out of hand. I'd sleepwalk, fight in my sleep. I almost hurt myself once, so my mother made me this herbal tea that calmed everything down. I haven't had a night terror since." She set a teapot on the stove, putting all the different herbs in and adding lemon and berry juice, then turned to me with a small smile. "Was it about him?" I nodded and she gave me a reassuring look. "I don't know much about the situation, but I do know that my son cares for you much beyond what one would expect. And I know that he'd never let anything happen to you, not anymore. The same goes for me. You are safe here. I honestly think this may be the safest place for you, at least in Forks." I nodded again, smiling a little, then looked down, feeling odd telling her this.

"Seth is...different, isn't he?" She smiled, cocking her head.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, he...he doesn't react to things the same as others. Like in general. He feels differently." I glanced up at her, since she was silent, then sighed. "I mean we have only been speaking to one another for a few days and he risked his life to come get me and opened his home to me. And...well...he said he loved me. Twice. And I'm not sure that's particularly normal feelings after 2 and a half days, basically 3 days, of conversation. Even the way he looks at me is different." The kettle began squealing and she turned to remove it, getting two mugs from the cabinet and honey.

"He is different, yes, but all he does and says is genuine."

"What is it that makes him different?" She laughed a little and glanced behind me. I turned and Seth was there, his eyes happy but tired.

"He has the biggest heart I've ever seen," Sue said, handing both of us a mug. "Both of you, drink up, then get some sleep. You both have school tomorrow." She kissed my forehead and reached up to kiss her son's cheek, patting his shoulder. "Good night." I turned to Seth and he had an eyebrow raised.

"You two were gossiping about he, huh?"

"More or less. She was assuring me I need not worry while I'm here because I'm safe." I sipped the tea and he hopped up onto the countertop. "Are you going to explain everything to me now?" He smiled a little and shook his head. "Why not? How difficult could it be to explain?"

"It's complicated." I leaned back against the fridge and sipped some more of the tea, trying to decide whether or not I wanted to tell him about the nightmare. "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry. About the nightmare. I think I should sleep out here so I won't wake anyone else." He shook his head the entire time I was talking. "Seth, I won't feel bad. I just don't want to bother anyone. It's bad enough I'm here to begin with-"

"Stop." He never really argued or explained his opinion on these things anymore. He'd simply tell me to stop talking and either sit silently or change the subject. "Can I take you out on a date?"

"What?"

"Can I take you out on a date?" he repeated, drowning the rest of his tea, although I don't recall ever seeing him take a sip.

"Why?"

"Why do you always ask me questions you know the answer to? And it's not like they're rhetorical. You're actually looking for a response from me. Why is that?"

"Because it doesn't make sense." He laughed a little, hopping off the counter.

"You'd be amazed by how much sense things do and don't make. You finished?" I nodded and he took the mug from me, setting both of them in the sink and motioning for me to lead the way back to the room. The front door opened before we could move and a girl walked in, tall, like Seth, but an exact image of Sue Clearwater, which let me know this must be Seth's sister. Her hair was chopped short to hang above her shoulders, complimenting her round face and slightly angled jawline, an angry expression on her face. She looked like she'd been in a fight. Her clothes were a little torn, cut off at the bottom with a few rips and tank top slightly torn. She looked over to where we stood and froze, looking at me, then to Seth. "Hey. This is Maya. Maya, this is my sister, Leah." I smiled shyly and waved and she gave a low grunt and moved past us into the fridge. I watched her, the way she moved, kind of stalking yet still graceful, in a sense. But her footsteps were hard and purposeful. "C'mon." I led the way back to the room and he shut the door, looking embarrassed. "Don't mind her. She's always like that."

"It's okay. She looked upset anyways."

"No, that's just Leah. She always looks like that." I smiled and laid back down, closer to the wall this time. "Maya...are you okay? Like here...with me?" I furrowed my eyebrows and sat up.

"Why would you think I'm not?"

"It's just...earlier, we were arguing and I dunno...it seemed to put a damper on things." I shook my head, looking down.

"Seth, I wasn't mad. I did that so you would get mad and take me home. So you'd stop asking questions."

"What? Why didn't you just say…"

"I did. But you wouldn't take me. Not willingly at least. You cared too much. So...by making you mad, you stopped caring and stopped asking questions." He stood silent a while, and I tucked my hands under thighs, nervous now, then he burst into a fit of laughter. I furrowed my eyebrows and looked up at him. What kind of response is that? "Why are you laughing?"

"Because that's clever. Stupid, but clever."

"I'm not stupid."

"No, not at all. Far from it, little bird. You are, however, wrong in what you said. I didn't stop caring. I could never stop caring, no matter what you do. I don't think you realize how attached to you I am. I figured with me wanting to be around you every second, every minute, every bit of my time, you'd see that by now."

"Well that wouldn't make sense to me, and since you refuse to explain to me what is all going on, then I'm kinda in the blind."

"You're absolutely right. Why do you need an explanation? Just let it be what it is and let things flow. You said you like to let things flow anyways."

"Yes, but the rational part of my brain still requires some form of explanation to your words and actions. And since it can't come up with one on it's own, then it's rejecting it, so I have to ask." He walked over to me, bending down, placing his hands on the bed and looking my directly in my eyes, his face inches from mine.

"Well, how about this. We won't ask about anything anymore. We'll learn it when we learn it. I won't ask about your dad and you won't ask any questions with the word "why" in it. Deal?" I stared at him wide eyed, not quite used to him being this close, not to mention we were in his room, he was shirtless, and I'm pretty sure I had no limits for him. I nodded, making the mistake of glancing down at his lips because now I wanted them more than anything. They turned upwards at the corners and I looked back up to his eyes, a playful light in them. He leaned in closer, literally centimeters from me, the heat radiating from him seeming to burn me, and I closed my eyes, waiting for the kiss. I waited for a few seconds, but nothing happened. "Move over." I opened my eyes back up, looking at him confused. "You're in my spot."

"Oh, sorry, I didn't…" I shut up and moved over, not being able to help the frown on my face as I did. He flipped me on my back and I yelped a little, making him grin, pinning me down like he had before.

"I was going to go along with it but that pout was just adorable." I bit my bottom lip and now it was his turn to look down at my lips, his expression shifting and eyes growing darker. He released one of my wrists and placed his thumb on my chin, lightly tugging it for me to release my lip from my teeth, then ran it along my bottom lip lightly. "Can I-"

"You don't have to a-" Before I could finish, his lips were pressed to mine, his hand lightly tracing from my chin to my jaw, lightly tracing the line before going up into my hair. There was a sweet sense of need in it, which was mutual. But that scared me enough to make me turn my head. He stopped, still hovering over me, holding himself up with a worried expression on his face.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't...I'm sorry."

"Maya, what happened? Did I-"

"No. You didn't do anything wrong. I just...I don't know."

"No, it's okay. You don't have to explain anything." He moved back and smiled. "Are you okay?" I shook my head and sat up, pulling my knees to my chest, feeling the need to cry for the millionth time this week. "What's going on?"

"What's wrong with me?" I whispered, tucking my hands between my stomach and thighs.

"There's nothing wrong with you. It's okay."

"No it's not. Seth, it's not okay. That's the problem. None of this is okay. I can't even kiss the guy I like when there's nothing but space and opportunity. I am in your room, in your clothes, it's 2 in the morning and we're in your bed and all I can do is spiral out of control. It doesn't make sense. And you just accept it. You don't question why I do the things I do and why I am the way I am-"

"Because I know why you're this way. Remember? I witnessed it, Maya. There's nothing wrong with you. This isn't your fault." This is getting old. I'm beginning to annoy myself. I laid down without another word, turning to face the wall and squeezing my eyes shut to force myself to sleep. "Are we ending on that note?" I didn't respond. I didn't need to stay in his good graces anymore. I was going back home eventually, but until I did, I'd just stay with Camille. "Maya, you don't have to feel bad for being the way you are. Not with me. And you shouldn't feel that way with anyone, if we're being honest. This is what you were made into. None of it is your own doing."

"What if it is my own doing?"

"Okay. That's fine. You still shouldn't be ashamed or embarrassed by it. If this is you, own up to it and be you and leave it at that. That's how you've been for a while now. But don't just shut down and belittle yourself for being you. That's not fair." I turned onto my back and looked at him, a smirk on his face. "And, for what it's worth you did kiss me first officially. So, I'm pretty sure that means you can kiss the guy you like." I laughed a little and patted the spot for him to lay down, to which he obeyed, pulling me back against him again, my head resting on his chest while he lay on his back and played in my hair absently. "I'll wait as long as i have to until you're comfortable being you around me. You've already shown me why you're strong. It makes sense. But I'm going to be the strong one for you from now on, okay?" I nodded a little. "Ignore everything and everyone else. Forget it. We're alone now and that's all you need to focus on. Do that thing when you're alone and don't think. Just exist." I smiled a little, turning and kissing him lightly then rested my head back on his chest. "Can you sing for me? I never got the chance to hear you sing."

"What do you want me to sing?"

"That song. Pretty Little Birds." I cleared my throat to get all the sleepiness in my voice out and began singing for the first time in 12 years, feeling like there was a new meaning to everything now.

 ** _Alright, that's the end of that. I might edit it later, but that's it for now. Just a quick point, I do not edit before I post, I like to shoot out raw material on these sites and edit for myself later to see the comparison. Anyways, RR!_**


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